The Divorce Crisis in America: Don’t Join The Statistics According to the American Psychological Association, about 40% - 50% of marriages in America end in divorce.
Why are the numbers soo high?
First, let me speak to my dear single women briefly: before you get married, be prepared. Love the woman that you are. Be happy with your situation and life. Don’t seek a partner to fill a void in your life. Enter Matrimony at a time when you feel whole. Seek a husband that you will amplify each other and grow together in all aspects to include spiritually. Not someone who you depend on to make you happy or complete you. You should already be happy. Don’t be afraid to ask the right questions about finances, sex, raising kids, number of kids, family, religious preferences and more. Most importantly don’t shy away from communicating what you desire in a husband and marriage upfront.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s go back to the foundation of marriage. Different people enter into marriages for different reasons, to include the mare idea of being a wife or husband. The reality is that Holy Matrimony is a ministry, not just a tittle. It is a commitment of honor, trust, respect and unconditional love. If people approach marriage as such, then divorce will not be an issue of existence. Most men want honor, respect and sex. Women on the other hand want to be loved and protected. This is supported biblically in the book of Ephesians 5: 22-33 as Apostle Paul speaks to wives to submit to their husbands in the same way Christ submitted to the church and also respect their husbands. The book of Ephesians also directs men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. It also defines the order and hierarchy in a home – God, Husband, wife, and children.
It is equally important to note that it is impossible for a woman to completely submit to a man she doesn’t trust. And without trust, the other aspects of respect, submission and honor becomes an issue. This goes back to the importance of marrying for the right reasons, marrying the right partner and treating marriage as a ministry. While many focus on getting married and purchasing a dream house, the focus should be on building a home.
I believe if we implement the right biblical order and structure in our homes, and also foster respect, honor and unconditional love for one another, we will continuously find ways to evolve together, understand our spouse’s love languages, communicate effectively, overcome challenges and build the families and marriages God designed for us, and the homes and memories we desire for ourselves aligning with God’s plan. Divorce will not be one of the options.
Sex and finances are also a huge contributor to the divorce rates in America; but effectively communicating and putting God at the center of your marriage is key.
All of that being said, while i don’t advocate for divorce, if you are already in a marriage that no longer serves you, by all means please take all the necessary legal steps needed to get out of a life threatening marriage.
Cheers to building homes (and not houses), lasting memories, putting God first, having solid foundations and timeless marriages of honor, trust, respect and unconditional love.
Linda Arrey Nkwenti
Author. Speaker. Certified Life and Leadership Coach.